We've exhausted every other option!

Have any of you guys seen Snakes on a Plane? Oh my. The best part is when the bad guy is talking about why he has to put snakes on a plane, and he says, "We've exhausted every other option!" Every single option besides putting a bunch of snakes on a plane? Okay.

Similarly, whenever anyone wants to put their snake on your plane, you'll want some protection. Samuel L. Jackson, for instance. Actually, I think we can all agree that a condom would probably do a better job than any bald dude with a purple light saber. But wait-- what if you have a latex allergy? What if you've exhausted that option, so to speak?

(See, that long-winded metaphor was totally relevant, am I right?)

Well, not to worry, team! We have an abundance of solutions.

First of all, polyurethane and polyisoprene are going to be your best friends from now on. You can get condoms to put on dudes made of polyurethane, as well as female condoms (not the anti-rape kind). Some ladies prefer to use these because they feel like they are the boss, which is great. Others feel that they are a little uncomfortable. I have heard that polyurethane doesn't fit quite as snugly, but it works just as well for STIs and pregnancy. You can also find some for men made of polyisoprene, if you prefer.

If you're not into either of those, don't worry-- you haven't exhausted every option quite yet. There is one more option: the lambskin condom. It's made of a sheep intestine, and apparently has a more, ah, "natural" feel. According to my sources, they can be a little slimy and smell like pears, but in a bad way. Additionally, this one does NOT protect against STIs or HIV, and it's not vegetarian. Because of these reasons, they're not my favorite, but it's your choice obviously.

If only condoms grew on trees, eh?